The Challenge of Children's Rights for Canada by Katherine Covell

Author:Katherine Covell
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Wilfrid Laurier University Press
Published: 2018-03-21T16:00:00+00:00

The Need for Democratic Parenting

Parenting style describes the strategies parents use to socialize children. Diana Baumrind described three basic styles of parenting in 1967: authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive.14 The styles she described continue to be used to explain a wide variety of child and adolescent behaviours. The permissive category has since been divided into permissive-indulgent and permissive-indifferent. The styles vary in their combination of demanding behaviours (expectations for behaviour) and responsive parental behaviours. The authoritative (or democratic) category is the only style of parenting consistent with the Convention principles of participation and best interests.

The demanding behaviours of the democratic parent are setting and enforcing age-appropriate limits, expecting age-appropriate maturity, and monitoring and supervising the child. In terms of responsiveness, democratic parents are affectionate and supportive, they recognize the child’s achievements, and they are involved in their children’s social and academic development. Democratic parents do not simply allow their children’s views to be heard; they encourage their children to express opinions on matters affecting them, and they encourage their children to explore options in decision-making. Socialization is focused on proactive teaching, modelling, and reward. Reasoning and explanation are used in response to unwanted behaviours, and when parents’ actions are contrary to the child’s expressed wishes.

The authoritarian and permissive categories describe ineffective parenting styles and are inconsistent with the Convention. Neither permissive nor authoritarian parents allow meaningful participation. Permissive parents, either indulgent or indifferent, have few demands or expectations for behaviour. There is little opportunity for children to express their views because they are free to do as they please. Authoritarian parents have excessive and inflexible demands for obedience and behavioural standards. Children’s talents, interests, strengths, and weaknesses are not accommodated. Children are not respected as autonomous bearers of rights, and they are denied expression of opinion. There is no explanation for rules other than those that reflect parental authority, for example, “because I said so.” Attempts at participation in decision-making by the child are seen as nothing more than signs of disrespect and are likely to be punished.

Democratic parenting, because it includes participation, increases the child’s self-esteem, decision-making skills, and sense of being a full member of the family and community. Age-appropriate demands and responsiveness would not have such beneficial effects if the child were not allowed to participate. For example, parental involvement in the child’s academic development (one characteristic of democratic parenting) has a strong facilitative effect on academic achievement because democratic parents ask for the child’s opinions, listen to the child, and encourage and engage in discussion with the child. The child will not be told, “You are going to take French immersion classes.” Instead, there will be discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of French immersion. The child’s views will be sought and listened to, and the final decision will take them into account. If the child’s views are not paramount in the final decision, the parent will explain his or her reasoning. A lot of learning about how to make a decision happens throughout the process. In turn, we see more socially and academically competent children.

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